Everyone who knew me before 9/11 believes im dead.

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  • 399 Likes
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I am homeless and no one (not even my family) knows about it.

  • 8868 Views
  • 3 Likes
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When I started my new job, I found your picture in my desk. I hope you're still alive.

  • 7989 Views
  • 7 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 7361 Views
  • 0 Likes
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My fellow Men of the world: Put the video games down. Man-up, Suit-up, and wine & dine the fuck out of a beautiful girl.

  • 6203 Views
  • 8 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 6180 Views
  • 0 Likes
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Im one of the most popular writers in the fandom and everytime I update I wonder if he reads.

  • 5518 Views
  • 1 Likes
  • 0 Comments
I saw my next door neighbor Naked through her window twice. I now check everyday just in case...

  • 4893 Views
  • 2 Likes
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In a crowd, (friends, family, strangers) I always wonder which of us will die FIRST.

  • 4813 Views
  • 2 Likes
  • 0 Comments
I'm a minister, but sometimes I look to see if other ministers will wink at me (as if to say) "Hah. Yeah, I'm in on the joke too..."

  • 4465 Views
  • 0 Likes
  • 0 Comments
Psst, Heres a secret... Your last mortal thought will be, "why did I take so many days - just like today - for granted?"

  • 4285 Views
  • 8 Likes
  • 0 Comments

  • 4078 Views
  • 0 Likes
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My wife and I are working at home because of COVID. I wish the quarantine would never end. I love my job, my wife hates hers and hates the company. She said she has never been paid to have sex so when we have it during her normal work hours, she feels like they are paying her to have it. In a way, she feels that by literally screwing me on their time she is also figuratively screwing her company. We have sex almost every work day and then recover on the weekend. However, she is trailing off a little with time. She really takes her time and makes it fun. Thank you COVID.

  • 3901 Views
  • 7 Likes
  • 0 Comments
Of ALL the things I found while reading your texts, learning that you voted for Trump was the worst.

  • 3582 Views
  • 5 Likes
  • 0 Comments
If he touches me again, I swear I'll fucking kill him.

  • 3572 Views
  • 1 Likes
  • 0 Comments

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